Goddess of Love...

She never created a human labeled with any of the labels we have managed to put on our foreheads. She never wanted the communal segregation based on whatsoever qualities. We have deceived her. We humans, have managed to deceive God by dividing ourselves in countless islands on this earth with no boats to connect, more importantly, no hearts that would like to connect. The more the wit she gave us, the more destructive we are.

National boundaries serve to let you know where not to attack. Religious boundaries tell you what the national boundaries couldn't, they tell you where could you attack inside the Nation. We were not satisfied with all above we kept on creating, castes, creeds, color, race, ethnicity, language, belief, age, and many more. All these may have positive points too but they collectively pose problems to the one common victim, Love. Love among human beings, love for the earth, love for each other, love for beloved... and the list goes on.

"सिर्फ़ एहसास है ये रूह से महसूस करो, प्यार को प्यार ही रहने दो कोई नाम ना दो।"
-- Gulzar.

Above lines are probably the closest to the "definition" of love. Other conditions are imposed by me because to err is humane, and I am a human being. For those who do not understand Hindi/Urdu, it translates to (probably I should not try to extract out its meaning! ) "Its only a feeling, feel it in your soul, let the love be just love, do not try to name it. " Though I would like to say that in this context "name" means the kind of relationship. What I do is probably very much against it.

I expect in love, I always expect things to go my way. I always expect my beloved to behave in a manner that would please me. Not meeting the expectations mean that she (I am a male) does not love me the same anymore. It immediately implies that I put further restrictions and conditions when I say I love her. I expect my parents to always, support, and care for me. I always expect, always!!

We, humans, have made a mess of what the God wanted us to do. We, I think should reconsider the way we think. We should at least try not to hurt others if we cannot help them heal their wounds. There should be no day when we have communal violence anywhere in the world, particularly in the name of religion. It is then we would stand apart from any other living beings.

Do we indeed want to stand apart? That is the real question!

Selfish me.

I asked God if he could turn me in something unnatural, for unnatural are the happiest beings. They don't know how to cry, they don't know why to cry for all they know is how to scrafice themselves so that others don't cry. They don't know how to smile, they don't know why to smile for all they care is others should smile. They don't run for an endless thirst because they don't want to run.

The more the natural I am, the more the selfish I am for I know when should I cry and when shall I not, for I have reasons to smile and I always seek them. For I try to steal the moments that take my breathe away. For I wish to feel the warmth of someone who could make me smile and fill my life with her smiles. For I can even smile on the days when some other natural beings have seen disaster. The more I smile, the more selfish I am. Why am I so selfish? I want to ask the God, Why am I so selfish? For I am a natural being? For why can't I cry when people cry, for why can't I be a reason for them to smile.

For I am a natural being I can reason out why shall I be selfish. For I know its an inherent property of a natural being. For I understand. For even if I dont understand, I make myself understand that I must be selfish. I must make my own path by hurting others, hurting those who were heading the path, to claim that I made the path.

Then I saw a disaster occurring on the door step of the God herself!! I saw people died once again. I saw they were running for their lives. I saw they were crying if someone could help them. I saw kids looking for their fathers, wives for their husbands, mothers for their sons, fathers for their sons. I saw. I did see this all. I did not cry. For I could change the channel and now I have a reason to smile. The same old thirst that never gets satisfied. Why do I want to smile so much when stones, even bamboos, even the deads are crying? They are trying every possible bit to help them. May be I could make myself understand that none who died were my relatives. May be I could again make myself understand that, that is the way life is. Yes, even if I could understand, still I wish to ask God. Why did she do this with the people who came for her blessings? I will ask God, why??

She replied harshly "Such a disaster happened. You are still happy. You are still happy for you are still a natural being, all alive." Then I asked God, Do I really want to be turned to an unnatural being? For I am happy hundreds of people died, for I can still smile or even flatter. She then replied smiling, "No you don't."

She then told me that I am selfish, for you believe or not but trust you must.